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A sucker is born every minute.

Have an extra $389 sitting around? Protect yourself with True Tracker Pro’s GPS personal security device. Carrying this small, lightweight unit (weighs 3 ounces) will give you the peace of mind you need in today’s dating world. Equipped with an SOS/Panic Button, when activated, immediately sends an alert to 3 predetermined recipients. It will continue to send alerts every 2 minutes for 40 minutes with your updated real time location, so help can get to you quickly. Monthly service fees starting at $46.)

I empathize with the kind of people who tend to date drug dealers, gun runners, meth cookers and psychopaths, but if that’s your situation, I don’t think pressing a button while you’re being attacked is going to help much.

Obviously online dating safety is of paramount importance, but TrueTracker is overpriced and redundant. Just go buy and iPhone.