Today’s McSweeney’s has a piece titled “BUSINESS IDEAS I HAVE REJECTED IN MY CAPACITY AS YOUR BANK MANAGER.â€? I have seen my fair share of “innovative, ground-breaking, the big guys just don’t get itâ€? business plans in my time, this made me chuckle.
Business name: Beebook
Reason for loan: declined to sayYour latest business idea, Beebook, was a social-networking venture with a twist. Users would provide not only the content to make Beebook a success but also the infrastructure, Web space, human resources, and real estate.
“Beebook is not just a website,â€? you told me in my office. “In fact, it’s not a website at all until our users purchase the URL and hire a Web designer. They also ought to start thinking about a logo.â€?
“I see Beebook,� you said, “as a kind of magic that happens whenever people get together to share content, whether they visit each other at home, meet in a bar, or even keep in touch using MySpace.�
Faced with skepticism about how something so intangible would make a profit, you became aggressive and started yelling that the thing would build up a following, at which point you would “monetize the motherfucker.�
“Come on, Shylock,� I heard you shout as security manhandled you out into the lobby. “Share some of that green content for once in your life!�
Amusing. Check out Timothy McSweeney, great literary features.
