A new year, and like clockwork a whole slew of unintelligible press releases right before iDate. This one is a real winner. Go take some aspirin before reading any further.
Did You, Inc. Releases an All New Social Networking Website Called DidYouDate.com Which is Creating Controversy Over Extra-Martial Affairs.
Did You, Inc., a New York Corporation since 2005, is set to launch the website DidYouDate.com, and enter into the business of online social networking, particularly with an interest in the area of online dating, online advertising and interoperability (also known as chat). The company is being designed from the ground up as a profit driven organization. It offers a compelling value proposition for its customers, a groundbreaking online promotional tool and a high return for customers on their investment in their product. It will offer a number of features that are unique to, and will enhance the experience of, the entire global market of online dating.
Guess who’s writing their press releases in-house? Talk about confusing, “enter into the business of online social networking, particularly with an interest in the area of online dating, online advertising and interoperability (also known as chat).�?
Why not call it chat? “The company is being designed from the ground up as a profit driven organization.�? Great news, as opposed to what?
As for the rest of the opening paragraph, I have no idea what the hell the company does. So I dig deeper:
DidYouDate, Inc. is in the business of supplying a search tool with the ability to access the historical dating records of anyone who has a profile somewhere online, or will soon have one.
They know I may join a dating site in the future? That’s some hot AI, where do I invest?
DidYouDate.com will generate empirical data received from its applicant’s use of the software, it has the ability to crawl and capture people’s profiles from a virtually limitless supply of existing dating, networking, personal ads, and white page listing websites.
Can you say “violation of terms of service?�?
Rather than searching for people and profiles on countless dating sites trying to dig up information about a cheating sex partner or ex husband or wife, a subscriber to DidYouDate.com will have access to these dating archives at the click of a button, by logging into one site.
Is this cheaper or more effective than paying a gumshoe for a days work?
The feature, named “6 Degrees,�? (i.e. “6 degrees of separation�?) will allow users to choose a dater and view all of the dater’s past, present and possible future relationships and the nature of those relationships.
Ow, my head hurts reading this stuff.
DidYouDate.com will utilize heavy graphical images provided by Gigapixel Creative to add a creative twist to relationship identification.
Make it stop!
DidYouDate.com’s technology will provide subscribers to online dating services the ability to chat with one another across a single platform. A person logged on to DidYouDate.com will be able to connect to any one who is logged on to any of the dating services that DidYouDate.com has enabled interop services. For instance, if there are 200,000 people logged into DidYouDate.com and 300,000 in to Myspace.com or Youtube and 1,000,000 into Yahoopersonals.com, then the DID YOU IM INTEROP TM. tool would have a total of 1,500,000 potential users that could possibly Instant Message each other simultaneously.
This site is DOA. A true Seinfeld of a press release. Get out your tinfoil beanies.
