Online Dating Insider

9 responses so far ↓

• 1 Patrick Marshall (Check me out!) // Feb 2, 2007 at 11:42 am

  we met bill snow and the buymyaffection team at idate miami and thought it was a cool idea. before the proliferation of all-you-can-eat and free sites, credit-based models (lava and others) were more prevalent. some daters we spoke with (women mostly) liked the credit payment systems better because they knew the guy was actually spending money on them specifically rather than just randomly shot-gunning members with cute photos. we look at buymyaffection in the same way. if one member wants to buy another member a present and is able to get it to them anonymously how’s that ‘preying on people’s vulnerabilities’? it seems like a safe way for sites to blend the online/offline experience.

  assuming its an easy integration and dating sites can make $5/gift in the process why is that a bad thing?

  dave - whether buymyaffection actually turns a profit isn’t relevant. they’re innovating in an attempt to improve the user experience. isn’t that what you’re always whining about anyway?
  

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  2.4

• 2 Steve van Egmond (Check me out!) // Feb 2, 2007 at 12:04 pm

  David-

  I appreciate your honest thoughts on our business model. Our goal isn’t to promote even greater cynicism in and about the industry, it’s to inject a badly-needed sense of flirting and fun.

  We’ve found in our research that there is a broad mainstream of daters who (for women) can’t tell who’s serious, and (for men) have a hard time communicating they’re really interested.

  It’s also been noted in the industry that there is a correlation between age and two things: (1) willingness to pay to participate in online dating, and (2) unwillingness to share personal information with people they don’t know that well. That’s the area where we are participating.

  Our offer isn’t really meant for people who don’t know each other, though of course we’d take the sale. It’s for that bridge between 1st date and 3rd date that people have such a hard time crossing. Our commitment (and technology) keeps the personal information private so that people are free to relate the way they want to.

  It doesn’t have to be HUGE to be a useful boost to revenue. It’s a $5 per order and takes a day to implement. One partner said to us, “Why would I not do this?” They didn’t see a downside, and I don’t either, because it amounts to effortless revenue off any site with a decent base of profiles and traffic.

  Frankly though, the entire field of online dating is about making money on the natural human desire to connect, in whatever way, with other humans. We’re happy to be a part of that.

  – Steve
  VP operations, Buy My Affection
  

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  2.9

• 3 David Evans (Check me out!) // Feb 2, 2007 at 12:31 pm

  Patrick, let me be perfectly clear by saying that my main problem is men buying women gifts before they meet. I said that right in the post.

  Integrating external features like buying flowers is useful to some people, I’ll give them that.

  If a dating site is free, do people have to enter in their mailing address to receive gifts? Has anyone thought about how this will affect free members? building in a new set of forms, database edits, etc, or will that be done on the buymyaffection site? I need to find out.

  “Sign up for this site you’ve never heard of, give us your home address, and maybe someone will send you a gift.” I can see several problems with this approach.

  Wait until the Russian spam girls start receiving hundreds of roses a day!

  I grok bridging the first - third date, of course that is an issue and providing anonymous means of sending flowers is novel. I can think of a lot of other more meaningful ways to get from date #1-3. Some people use flowers, others will focus on helping people communicate better, perhaps feedback about the date of some kind.

  While I take great pains to “whine” about the lack of innovation as you say, giving flowers isn’t exactly innovation in my book. I’m looking to raise the bar higher.

  This reminds me of professional photos. Some people take advantage of the offer, the majority don’t.

  The older generation will go for flowers, younger people are more into digital gifting or begging, like with Helio and Myspace, but that is for a different day.

  Bill and I are having a conversation about the business, I will post more as I digest the details.

  “whether buymyaffection actually turns a profit isn’t relevant.” Huh?
  

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  3.2

• 4 Markus (Check me out!) // Feb 2, 2007 at 1:32 pm

  I allowed users to buy and send each other roses that would show up at their door. Basically no one used it, ended up being about 10 orders a day.
  

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  3.0

• 5 Steve van Egmond (Check me out!) // Feb 2, 2007 at 2:15 pm

  David or anyone, I’d be happy to answer operational questions and give demos — svan@buymyaffection.com is the address. But I’ll answer your comment here; I think there’s a couple of misconceptions.

  Individuals don’t sign up with us directly. We partner with a site and offer the service to their entire membership. We defer collecting a delivery address until a purchase is made. Our software pulls email and (if available) postal information over a secure channel from the dating site, assesses its quality, and if it’s insufficient initiates contact with the gift recipient. If they decline the gift or don’t respond, what can you do? Full refund. In the overwhelming majority, people respond positively and the gift gets delivered.

  Oh, it’s worth pointing out that it’s not just flowers. Our delivery partner is FTD.com, and they are certainly a premium option. Our research has shown a $10 price point is important, and for that, there’s greeting cards. Moving up from there, there’s chocolates, mix CD’s, and new gift lines will be showing up on a monthly basis. How about a trip to a spa?

  That’s the thing about what we’re offering: We have a built-in incentive to expand and improve the gift line and really make this truly appealing. Screw cynicism.

  Markus, your audience is (by definition) people who don’t feel like paying for stuff. I’m not surprised the idea failed for you.
  

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  2.9

• 6 Matt (Check me out!) // Feb 5, 2007 at 2:27 pm

  I’d perceive someone sending me a gift before I earned it as a red flag.

  However, I’d love to have access the the “You Can BuyMyAffection” database.

  This database is loaded with people badly in need of a dating/social/pick up coach.
  

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  3.0

• 7 Bill Snow (Check me out!) // Feb 6, 2007 at 1:50 am

  Matt: Even a greeting card on your birthday or Valentine’s day? Really?

  I wish I could sell you the database, but we have a blood-oath of secrecy. :)

  Bill Snow, BuyMyAffection
  

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  3.0

• 8 Matt (Check me out!) // Feb 6, 2007 at 2:11 pm

  Hi Bill -

  Maybe for my b-day.

  Personally, I don’t like to use gifts as a way to escalate a new relationship to an intimate level.

  There are better ways in my opinion. And they are more effective. At least for me, and many other people I know.

  But that doesn’t mean the business model is not solid. There is a myriad of guys that will attempt to buy the affections of women daily. You could do really well.

  Good luck!
  ~Matt
  

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• 9 Edward (Check me out!) // Feb 11, 2007 at 6:08 pm

  I used zipsend.com/frogmagic.com (both now defunct) to allow members to send one another gifts with only an e-mail address. I quickly pulled it off my site because of the perceived creepiness factor of a woman receiving gifts from a man she has never met, or even emailed. Sending gifts with only an email address is a cool tech idea, but along with GPS tracking of nearby singles, its not an idea that works well with the rest of the public.
  

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  3.0

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