Bitter, maniacal laughter sounded from the eternal winter of Hasbro CEO Mortimer Z. Hassenfeld’s office chambers Monday as yet another relationship fell to the diabolical machinations of his company’s popular board game Scrabble.
Sources said that since the vengeful, lovelorn Hassenfeld first began marketing Scrabble under the Hasbro brand, roughly 1,447,055 romantic couplings have been destroyed by the game’s devastating ability to turn otherwise felicitous partners into fierce, seething rivals.
From The Onion, where else?
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