Plenty Of Fish Extends Workday to 90 Minutes

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Once held up as a shining example of how to succeed by working as little as possible, PlentyOfFish founder Markus Frind made a series of stunning announcement this week which have sent shockwaves of despair through the global get-rich-quick and affiliate marketing communities.

Entrepreneur fanboys, Microsoft programmers and bloggers were also saddened to learn that founder of the worlds largest free dating site has announced that the company will begin measuring the length of the workday in hours, not minutes. After working a grueling 11 minutes, 4-Hour Workweek guru Tim Ferris extended an already-exhausting day to comment, “I’m very disappointed in Markus, he’s working too hard and growing too fast, I do not condone his behavior.”

Taking several years to employ a second worker, the leading free dating site also announced it has increased the headcount to an astronomical four people, necessitating the move to a larger space.

To add to the despair, PlentyOfFish announced it has moved it’s global headquarters from the founder’s apartment into something called an office, where pants are required.

The explosive growth of PlentyOfFish has sent reverberations throughout the online dating industry. Industry experts say these events will place an enormous strain on the already-taxed resources at Match and eHarmony.

Eharmony President was heard saying, “For the love of Jesus, we’re going to have to spend another $100 million in advertising just to keep up.”

Match.com’s IT staff were seen ordering another truckload of servers and acquiring four additional Chinese social networks in the hopes it can regain it’s leadership position.

True to form, True.com has attempted to raise awareness about the unfair working conditions at PlentyOfFish by lobbying lawmakers and trying to get a bill passed stating its illegal to run a dating site in Canada.

PlentyOfFish Founder Markus Frind appears to be the most affected by recent events:

For the first few years it was just me and my server, sitting in my apartment working excruciating minutes a day, sometimes an entire hour was spent figuring out where to put more ads on the site. Then I would have to leave and go to the bank and deposit the giant checks from Google.

The basic website took four hours to complete, then I took a month off. Then I threw up some Sugardaddy.com ads and took a nap. Next thing I knew I had 30 million monthly visitors. Some guy named Suzuki said I was his hero and all of a sudden I was all over Canadian cable television.

Last week we had a meeting. To tell you the truth I didn’t know what to do so I went and bought a big bag of Cheetos and a case of diet coke. Having these “employee” people around is going to take some getting used to. I’m just glad PlentyOfFish is the best website in the entire universe, have you seen our internation growth? We are destroying Match in Albania!

Employees, office space and five hours of recent downtime due to circumstances beyond your control, welcome to the real world, Markus.