Frequent commenter James Houran, Ph.D. points us to an article he did in Joe Tracy’s Online Dating Magazine in response to my statement about dating sites being searchable static billboards.
James says that people can have relationships online. I would argue there is not enough emotive bandwidth and functionality built into today’s online communication tools to effectively support the initial stages of relationships, online or off. Today’s online communication is the equivalent of grunting, what we need is the ability to hit the high notes and low and everything in between.
Online chat can as much a nightmare for women as being approached in a bar bar. Actually, most women would agree that online chat is worse due to the fact that men tend to overdo it when they realize there is a live woman on the other end. And if there is video involved? Cover your eyes when you first connect.
For some people, reading Happen Magazine or dating tips at Yahoo is enough. Others need the dating site itself to help shepherd them through the initial “reach out and touch someone” phase. Speaking of Yahoo, did you see that Personals Premiere is now only $20.83 a month? That doesn’t seem very premiere.
A brief survey of the introduction part of the dating process leaves all dating sites wanting. Dating sites are good at showing you all the people with blonde hair and no kids within 25 miles. Where they falter, and where the most improvement can occur, is helping daters through the introductory process. This is a clearly identified problem that nobody wants to tackle. Simply adding video and chat is not the only answer.
What I’m talking about is progressive communication where two people are put through less of a free-for-all conversation and instead guided through the introduction process by the next generation of introduction engines. These engines will feature directed engagement through a series of collaborative, participatory introductions, including group dates, games, trivia and Q&A.
I hope that by introducing the term, the dating industry will start thinking of ways to build services which work along side online daters, helping them make better choices, alerting them to potential problems and making the whole online dating experience that much more enjoyable.
Social networking sites are not off the hook. They suffer similarly when the amount of social interaction is measured. There is absolutely nothing social about Myspace if you ignore the chat feature. Social networking is basically advertising-supported voyeurism which needs to adapt to the changing needs of their communities. Friendster, anyone?
Technorati Tags: introduction engines, online dating, videoconferencing
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Greeting Dave.
“There is absolutely nothing social about Myspace if you ignore the chat feature.”
- I disagree. From the Bulletin Boards, comments left on member pages, to the thousands of Groups offered there is indeed a social orgy taking place on MySpace – one just needs enough active “friends” to tap into this energy.
Voyeurs: It seems that the 30+ crowd is certainly less active in producing content on the site and indeed surf more as voyeurs; myself included.
I don’t think the amount of active friends you have has anything to do with how social you are on the site. Many people only have a handful of connections.
If producing content means leaving comments for hotties, then yest the under-30 crowd is indeed being social.
I don’t think of bulletin boards as being social anymore. Back in the day, yes but today, with more dynamic mediums like blogs, RSS feeds and collaborative web services, bulletin boards are where I go to post questions about how to fix my computer.
Agreed one can indeed be social with only 1 active friend; the extent to which one is social is relative and has no bearing on the number of “friends” one has.
“If producing content means leaving comments for hotties, then yest the under-30 crowd is indeed being social.”
- if content is not being produced by members/bands/comedians etc. then there is no reason to visit day after day. The under 30 crowd is still very active in producing the content on MySpace. Without a steady flow of new content (of the social interaction, member profile and entertainment variety) the site would become boring. I see MySpace not a Social Network but rather as a Social Entertainment Network. I use it to interact and to be entertained.
Bulletin Boards: of course it’s a social module. I get more mileage out of the MySpace Bulletin Board than I do any other communication feature on the site. It’s really no different than a Gmail feature that allows you to generate a communication thread and interact with multiple people via email.
Undercurrent: there’s a shift happening on MySpace. More and more profiles are showing up hidden (unless you are an approved friend). Members have formed clicks and put up their walls. Long term this is bad news for MySpace and in my opinion reflects a growing disconnect between the site and its members. They certainly should revisit their user/privacy settings (or lack thereof) and nip this in the bud before it grows like a plague.
Peace.
- Saïd
Introduction engines?! Got me thinking of ‘old school ‘introduction engines &methods:
1.) Liquor. It was the Big Time before the Net. Still plays a strong role.
2.) Personality. Like having one. Like having one and being glad to meet people.
3.) That hot car. Get the chicks & guys talking. Been working, well since before self propelled cars.
4.) An interesting job or hobby that you’re involved in.
5.) Reading books and magazines for ideas and opinions on current events and gaining a wider perspective on living. These would be worthy ideas you could defend to strangers.
6.) Education or classes on an issue or matter of interest to you. Painting classes& art classes used to be ideal here.
7.) Being able to listen to someone else tell you their story. Being emphatic to said story.
8.) Knowing just a little psychology and body language to know when you’re wanted or not.
9.) Being able or willing to dance, no matter the skill level.
10.) And/or being able to play an instrument & make music. Almost any instrument will do.
Given the above methods I can almost guarantee any half decent blind horn player a date anywhere on either coast. Cheers, ‘VJ’