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By JENNIFER SARANOW
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL ONLINE

Parents have a new ally in their quest for grandchildren: online dating sites.

More moms are pestering their single adult children to log on for love, especially when they’ve exhausted networks for setting their kids up. While some parents are just nagging, others are footing the bill by paying the membership fee or buying gift certificates. In extreme cases, some moms are putting up profiles and contacting their kids’ potential mates themselves.

Liza Stone was furious a year and a half ago when her mom suggested she try online dating. Her family had a history of meddling in her love life, culminating in a lousy blind date with her grandfather’s doctor, whom her parents barely knew. After that, the 26-year-old media planner says, “I told them they weren’t allowed to fix me up with anybody else.”

But following a month of motherly pushing, Liza joined Jdate (www.jdate.com) and quickly met Scott Bronstein, the man who would become her fiancé. (Mr. Bronstein says his mom also pushed him to go online.) “My mom takes full credit for that fact that Scott and I are getting married,” says Ms. Stone, who lives in Chicago. Their wedding is planned for this June.

Mom Linda Stone, 55, says she was inspired by a friends’ son who met his bride online, and now suggests online dating to other parents — though she says her friends’ children haven’t been as lucky as her daughter to meet someone so quickly.

Mary Axtell was even more active with her daughter. The Scotland-born 54-year-old from Onalaska, Wash., says she didn’t like the men her daughter, Julie, was dating and was also tired of her “moaning” that she wasn’t going to meet anyone special. So she set up a profile for her daughter on InterActiveCorp’s Match.com, and messaged just one guy, alias “imafishinnut,” who she thought would be a good match. “Everything in his profile was like reading about my daugher,” Ms. Axtell says, as both “imafishinnut” and her daugher enjoyed the outdoors and sports.

While her daughter was shocked to return home from a trip and find out what her mother was up to — “I was like, ‘what?’ ” Julie remembers saying — she started e-mailing with the man, Michael Poe. That moved on to phone calls, and then real dates. Now, they’re married. “I thank my mom every day,” says Julie Poe, a 29-year-old living in Indian Head, Md.

The interest in online dating comes as many parents worry that the old ways of meeting potential husbands and wives aren’t working anymore. Many children are moving away from home for school and careers and often delaying marriage and families. According to the Commerce Department’s Census Bureau, between 1970 and 2000, the median age at first marriage for women increased to 25.1 from 20.8, and for men, to 26.8 from 23.2.

While parents do still try to fix their offspring up, they often are doing it from afar, with less chance to judge the potential mates themselves, says Norval Glenn, a sociology professor at the University of Texas who specializes in family sociology. That’s why they turn to the Internet for help.

“I think parents don’t see any other alternative … that is better for getting their offspring connected,” says Prof. Glenn.

Dating sites say they’ve seen more parents paying for their kids. EHarmony.com Inc. launched gift certificates last week, citing strong interest from parents looking to buy their children subscriptions.

EHarmony now offers gift certificates for people who want to play matchmaker.

MingleMatch Inc. of Provo, Utah, which runs targeted sites, says it has registered parents who are joining for children, especially on its sites for Muslims and Indians, and began offering gift certificates on its sites about a year ago. Meanwhile, JDate, a unit of MatchNet PLC of Los Angeles, says a growing number of parents have been calling in to purchase subscriptions for their children, and the site plans to offer a formal gift program by the end of the year.

To be sure, some parents are still concerned with safety online or still don’t know what online dating is. But many hear stories of friends’ children and their unmarried friends: According to Jupiter Research, singles over 55 browsed online dating sites just as much as those 18 to 24 in 2003. In all, about 37% of online singles visited online dating sites last year, according to Jupiter, though the percentage who paid for subscriptions or went on dates is far lower.

Shirley Sklar, a 65-year-old in Stamford, Conn., says she and her girlfriends talk about online dating “all the time” now when the topic of their single adult children comes up. “It just seems like every day I hear of someone who met that way,” she says.

Two months ago, Ms. Sklar learned about a friends’ son who was featured on GreatBoyfriends.com, and Ms. Sklar printed out a copy of the site for her daughter, Ellen. The younger Ms. Sklar, 44, says she didn’t sign up for GreatBoyfriends, but after two years of “nagging” from her mother, she joined rival site eHarmony (www.eharmony.com) earlier this year.

Merle Koerner, a 56 year old psychotherapist from Jupiter, Fla., who met her husband on a blind date in college, says times have changed. “Online dating has become the surrogate family member, the old matchmaker,” she says.

When Ms. Koerner’s daughter moved to New York last June, she told her mom how difficult it was to meet men. Ms. Koerner tried to set up her up with friends’ and acquaintances’ sons in New York, but so far “it doesn’t click.” The reason, according to Ms. Koerner, is it’s hard to trust what people say about their sons.

So Ms. Koerner nudged her daughter, Alissa, to also try online dating. That seemed silly to the 24-year-old, who says she “wasn’t going to drop $75 for three months to meet someone” — adding she was busy moving and focusing on her new job as an assistant to a literary agent. Her mother, however, didn’t give up, mentioning online dating a couple more times in passing over the summer, even offering to pay.

The persistence worked. The younger Ms. Koerner signed up Labor Day weekend, with her parents footing the bill — and recently began paying for the subscription herself. But though she browses the profiles and occasionally communicates with guys she’s yet to go on a second date with someone she met online. She says her mom is still on her back: “My mom hates the picture in my profile. She thinks I’ll get more responses if I change it.”

Sometimes, parents go too far. Jdate spokeswoman Gail Laguna remembers one panicked call from a young women a few months ago, whose mother had set up a profile for her.

“You’ve got to help me, my mother is insane. She’s sending e-mails to people. Somebody stop her,” Ms. Laguna recalls the woman saying. JDate took down the profile.

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